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Love of Your Life…Or Not?

When you find that special one, your heart beats faster, everything in the world looks better and people who you’d normally not give a second thought to now get a warm smile from you…you’re in love. Or…so you think. Is it the real thing or is it just a passing fancy? Infatuation? Let’s explore what the signs for true love are and are not and find out the answer together…

One thing true love’s not, is hurried. Real love takes time. Have you ever heard the old adages, true love waits or that true love stands the test of time? Well they’re both accurate when it comes to real love. Genuine love is not something that happens overnight. Usually a good tell-tale sign that your love is real is that it grows in time. If you find yourself in a new situation and either you or your new partner wants to jump in with both feet and think about the consequences later then that usually signals infatuation or lust, not anything genuine or long lasting.

Is there such a thing as love and lifelong happiness?

I believe there is and here’s how I believe you can achieve it. First, it is both your ultimate right and responsibility to govern your heart in any of your interpersonal relationships, especially where romantic relationships are concerned. Keep both eyes open to the type of character your newfound beloved possess. Take a good honest look at the core beliefs of the person you’re finding yourself attracted to before you do anything else. That way you’ll protect your heart from getting broken…

Remember that out of the heart springs the issues of life so wherever your heart is that’s where your life heads and if it’s not real love and the two of you do not have a true commitment then you are inviting yourself into something that can be troublesome at best in the end. Decide on what’s best for you and your life and stick only with that no matter how attracted you are to that person. Let’s take this situation for instance, let’s say you meet someone and you feel instant “chemistry” with them. The two of you decide to take the next step and go out on a date and by the end of the night you are caught up in pure bliss. Where category do you think that would fall into…real love or infatuation?
It’s sad to say but many would call that real love, say it’s love at first sight or the beginning of something beautiful…I’m not saying it can’t happen, but in the real world, that usually spells out infatuation which will fade over the course of time if something more isn’t substantiated.

Commitment and communication is the key to a healthy long lasting relationship, and this “relationship of mutual benefit or pleasure” fits into the category of infatuation and again, once one side is not meeting the other’s needs then the relationship normally tends to dissolve and someone is left hurt and disillusioned. Real love is one that in most cases starts off as friendship and builds over time. That doesn‘t mean that you don‘t have those ooey gooey feelings just the same, it just means that the both of you took the time to sit back and nurture your budding relationship into one that means more than the here and now.

Each one of us is responsible for how we handle our physical attraction to another person. We have a choice at that first moment of pull whether or not we will run with our animal instincts or choose to allow ourselves to filter our instincts though our intellect and use our God given wisdom to guide the direction of the feeling we’re experiencing.

Let me reaffirm the fact that a healthy “real love” situation doesn’t come with all of the underlying questioning feelings that a relationship built on infatuation or lust does. So, unless you are only looking for a fling of sorts, open your eyes to the fact that real love isn’t built instantly, it takes time to develop and that you are more highly developed than an animal so don’t just go by your animal instincts when choosing your future mate.

Christian author and public speaker, Karen Farrell Jaworski, deals with love and many other contemporary women’s issues worldwide. You can go onto her website, www.kfjbooks.com, to learn more about her and find more articles like this or review her three powerful real-to-life dramas in the contemporary Christian women‘s fiction genre.

Summary: This article talks about the differences between a good man and one that is better off thrown back into the dating pool as fast as you can give him the good old heave ho. Here, you'll learn what to be on the lookout for and what not to accept in your dating and/or relationship life.

 

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